How To Stay Sober When Your Spouse Drinks

Lyre’s makes a great faux Aperol Spritz, which I drink with Nosecco, and Three Spirit does a ‘Social Elixir’ infused with herbs that bring on a natural buzz and won’t leave you pranging the next day. In social situations, I find it all depends on the company you keep. Yes, it can be quite fun watching people get drunk for a while, but it can also get boring (some drunk folk just love having the same conversation over and over). But if you’re with people you love, you shouldn’t need booze to have fun. You may also experience what is commonly called sobriety fatigue, which refers to the overall exhaustion that may occur as a result of the emotional and physical stress of staying sober. So, it’s extra helpful to have a support network available to you when you need it.

How to Stay Sober When Others Are Drinking

Most of us just want to have fun, visit, and be accepted at family gatherings. But for many, there are also certain minefields we dread having to navigate this time of year. One of these is worrying about how to handle family members who drink too much at holiday gatherings.

Why is everyone trying to get me to drink?

It’s unlikely anyone’s viewpoint is going to change in one day, so decline to get involved. Having more time and energy might motivate you to continue abstaining from alcohol. When you walk into a situation believing that you can’t have fun sober, this is likely to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might even isolate yourself or hold back from having a good time—which will then reinforce your belief (and others) that being sober makes fun impossible. Depending on the severity of the addiction or substance, a medically-supervised detox may be necessary to safely help you through withdrawal during the first few weeks when relapse risk is highest.

  • If you’re ready to start treatment, American Addiction Centers is here to help.
  • However, the past few decades have brought changes to alcohol treatment.
  • Still, it’s normal to not always feel empowered when you’re around drinkers, or feel a strong temptation to imbibe.

We are BOOM Rethink the Drink, a Private, Anonymous, Community Forum, open to anyone hoping to take a break from drinking. MHA Screening is an educational program intended to help inform people about options they have in getting help for mental health issues. It may suggest tools and resources that offer information, treatment services, self-help (or “DIY”) tools, and/or ways to connect with others. For any and all suggestions, comments, or questions, please contact Mental Health America.

Although anyone can become dehydrated, certain groups of people are at higher risk. These include:

Knowing that I stayed in control of myself really helps to lessen my paranoia the next day. Long-term sobriety can be challenging—but it’s even more difficult when your spouse and loved ones continue to drink. Socializing with people who are drinking, having alcohol in the home, and even the smell of alcohol are common triggers for people in recovery. Parties can often be more stressful than fun if you’re in recovery from alcohol abuse, as maintaining sobriety can be a lifelong commitment that unfortunately doesn’t get a summer vacation.

  • Peer pressure surrounding drinking and sobriety can be intense.
  • If you’re in early recovery, you’ll want to stay away from any situation where alcohol or drugs are involved for some time.
  • Joining a gym, taking fitness classes, or going to a yoga studio is another fantastic way to make friends.
  • It’s up to you to decide how much information to share and who to share it with.

If a 12-step program doesn’t sound appealing, you can look for other support groups. Many will organize substance- and alcohol-free events to help fill members’ evenings and weekends. Besides being an excellent opportunity to meet other sober people, participating in a support group gives you a higher chance of remaining substance-free. Today, menus at the world’s best cocktail bars use a sliding scale, from non-alcoholic drinks to low-alcohol cocktails to the pre-Prohibition-style high-octane variety.

How Do You Stay Sober When Your Friends Encourage You to Drink?

We trust and love and hope that no one we care for is really that bad. At five years openly sober I have friends and family who still unwittingly try to enable me to drink. The best thing for me would be what they perceive as balance rather than abstinence. Avoiding the boozy scenes may mean that you’re doing some earlier-in-the-day small group or one-on-one meetups with your friends, and that’s okay.

How to Stay Sober When Others Are Drinking

Taking time to evaluate how alcohol intersects with dating, sex, and romance also includes mindfully mourning the end of a relationship. As a therapist and sober curiosity being sober around drinkers guide, I see the pitfalls of focusing solely on abstaining from alcohol. True change lies deeper than mere behavior—it’s about our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions.

It also gives you a sense of purpose that can help you stay focused. Make choices that align with your sobriety goals without worrying about staining your friendships. As your friends will understand and accept your withdrawal from the social setting without taking it negatively. I also learnt that it’s impossible to ‘drink yourself happy’ after a bad day or when you’re going through a rough time. At first, I was unsure I could make it to 90 days without alcohol, but the actual experience was life-changing. It very quickly became addictively easy and enjoyable to maintain my teetotal state.

  • If you’re the host, things can get trickier when someone in the family drinks too much.
  • The goal is not to avoid feeling angry or upset but to self-soothe without substances.
  • Having open conversations will help them understand your perspective and allow you to address any potential discomfort or pressure that may arise in social situations.
  • Before RSVPing to any event with alcohol, decide if you think you can handle being present around the substance, especially if you’re newly sober.

Healthy movement also helps you heal your mind and body from the damage often caused by addiction. Joining a support group is an excellent way to find sober friends. Alcoholics Anonymous, for example, has more than 2 million members in the United States, making it one of the most well-known groups for people recovering from addiction.

I had been a grey area drinker or what is traditionally defined as a high functioning alcoholic. The depth of my alcohol abuse was not something that my friends and family had seen. But even after I came out sober publicly  and proudly in my second year alcohol-free, I have friends and family who still unwittingly try to enable me to drink. But to them, the best thing for me is being able to drink when I want to and stop when I want to, and they really don’t understand that I can’t. In the beginning of your recovery, you have to be mindful of what you interact with.

Now that you are sober, you may have discovered that some of your past relationships were not only unhealthy but downright toxic. It’s not just your drinking buddies and drug dealers who can get you into trouble—sometimes those who are closest to you can contribute to a relapse. It may help to pick a quit date, or a day when you choose to discontinue use of alcohol or drugs. It’s also helpful to change your environment—for instance, avoid going to bars. There are also resources such as 12-step groups and recovery groups.

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